What could be more awesome than being the first grandchild? Well, it could be being the first granddaughter too! Or it could be having an incredible relationship with a woman that was a splitting image of yourself; yet for the first 15 yrs. of your life, you didn't realize that. It's not until your adulthood that you realize you carry on a piece of an incredible woman.
I really think what's the most awesome thing is to have a really amazing grandmother.
In my life I've been blessed to have 4 grandmothers present since my birth. I had my great grandmother who I vaguely remember, but do! I have a fond memory of walking into their old café near the Belen Railroad and seeing her sit on a corner chair as we would enter the back entrance to the café. Her name was Nana Theresa, and she was my grandmother's mother. She died when my brother was just born in and I do remember that... Then, there's nana Carlotta. Not much memory but I remember her old home near the old post office. We would walk in the back entrance and she would be sitting, she was very old looking to me as a small child. She was my maternal grandfather's mother.
I am so fortunate because I still have my 99 and HALF year young grandmother...my mom's mom, my Godmother...she's unique and special and what an incredible bond I have with her. What's fun is that I really got to know her after my "Grama" died. We became really good friends. We became shopping partners. We just connect in a fun and talkative way; we always have. I am so glad she's still so young and my dear friend.
"Grama." Yes, maybe misspelled, but that's how she signed EVERY one of my cards or notes or anything from her. Cancer really is ugly sometimes. She was diagnosed with lung cancer on her birthday, May 15th, and within 2+ months it fiercely attacked her body. She was only 60. Gone.
Gone. But really gone? Never from my mind will she be gone. How fortunate I am. I was her first grandchild. I was her first granddaughter. She was about my age when I entered her life...that's bizarre. Her love for me was beyond measure and as a kid, I knew it! My list of memories is amazing. 15 years doesn't seem like a very long time, yet I have so much bundled in my brain, all for me!
- Her smell (it has never left me);
- Her skin (I know how it felt);
- Her thin hair (I combed so often or rustled my fingers through it);
- Her hands (I always held her hands);
- Her driving (who could forget how she peeled out in the Nova);
- Her cheese queso (Tia's is close, but only close);
- Her mashed potatoes (I can taste them!)
- Her workplace (I remember her signing me, taking me to the back, and she would "show me off" to every co-worker);
- Her cigarettes (yes, she let me inhale a menthol one time);
- Her room and bed (Oh, how I loved sleeping with her; the best! the coziest; the darkest room ever);
- Her putting on lotion (I loved to watch her put lotion on - only Jergens - almost every time I put on my legs I think of her!);
- Her Dove soap (the softest soap every; we only had Dial at my house.);
- Her voice (I could tell her anything and she would listen and talk directly to me);
- Her house, Her kitchen, Her living room, Her basement, Her dining room (I dream about her home);
- Her Chinese elm trees (those darn leaves all other the place);
- Her Denise tree (still there today!)
- Her scream ("Puppy!");
- Her driving into Belen (I mean speeding in!);
- Her rubbing my back (Oh, how she knew I loved that);
- Her TG&Y grandkid shopping sprees (yes, boys got to spent $1, I had no limit!)
- Her.....the list can go on forever!
We had tons of endless conversations that I can distinctively remember in my brain, but one always stands out and it was sometimes repetitive cuz she loved my hands and I recall one of the hand conversations...something like this (as we drove from ABQ to Belen in the Datsun):
She was sitting in the front passenger seat and I took the middle seat of the back seat so that I could lean forward and of course, be touching her or holding her hands (remember, no seat belts back then). She is holding on to my hand and she holds up and says,
GM: "Mi Hita, you have such beautiful hands and skin:
Me: Grandma, they look like yours
GM: No they don't, yours are soft and perfect mine are old and wrinkled
Me: But grandma, I think they look alike
GM: No. (and she's softly caressing my skin)
She had such big hands and her knuckles were big, but I remember looking at them and seeing no wrinkles or oldness to them, only beautiful and lovely to touch. AND, I remember seeing her mother's ring on her hand as she touched and caressed my youthful, soft, pudgy skin/fat fingers!
What I didn't know was they my parents had purchased that ring for her. Never knew that. Yesterday I get a call from my mom and she said, I have a surprise for you and you need to come get it. She told me she had an old pair of earrings from one of her great great aunts. When I get there, inside the box along with the old earrings is my grandma's mother ring!
It FIT perfect. The "Perfect Fit."
I took it but truthfully, it didn't quite sink in....not until church last night as I am following through the end of the book of Mark do I look down and see my grandma's hands - no longer the soft small, youthful hands. I see her wrinkles, I see her chaffed skin, I see the veins, I see the oldness, I see her ring, I see her hands...full circle. I'm not quite 60, but probably close to the same age as she was when she got it and wore it all the years that followed!
It's been in the safety deposit box since she died. My aunt gave it back to my mom, saying that she should have it since they purchased it for her; I never knew that. My mom offered to clean it yesterday and I quickly say, "no." There is residue, probably Jergen's lotion or Dove soap...not cleaning it...nope, I love the DNA left behind!
The "Perfect Fit" indeed!
No comments:
Post a Comment